When we think of the perfect relationship, we look at it from the perspective that our significant other has checked everything off “the list”. In reality, it sometimes never work like that unless God has really buckled down and heard that prayer as he did for Ciara.
Most women have been through the dumps of hell when it came to dealing with fboys, cheaters, mama boys, you name it but what do you do when you have a guy that sparks ideas, dreams, and inspirations in you that you never thought you could have but don’t want to build a relationship with your friends? It’s not like your man or woman doesn’t like your friends but they just don’t care about having a relationship with them.
Are friends really a determining factor of your relationship lasting or not? For me, most of my friends and I have been friends since elementary and middle school so they know the ends and outs of who you are and all the things you have been through. When you think of friendships, you really want them to last. Friendships are really the first relationship you have had with someone that is not your family.
Choosing your mate and your friends are both important. They both help you embark on the different journeys and avenues that have been placed in your life. They also shape you into the person you become day by day based on the different experiences you experience with each other.
For me, it is very important that my friends and my mate get alone and have some type of relationship. It goes hand and hand with family. Would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to engage or interact with your family?
My guy feels like why build a relationship/friendship with people who he doesn’t think are great friends to me. This sparked a variety of conversations and questions because it made me start to evaluate my level of friendships with people. I have always had a struggle with friendships and how important of friend that I am to my friends. It made me start to wonder, how beneficial of a friend are my friends to me as I am to them… Have I really outgrown my friendships with people I’ve been friends with for over 15+ years. Do I really need this person in my life? The conversations between my guy and I really made me look at friendship from a different perspective but it also made me realize that people look at friendships differently. What’s important to one person might not be criteria for another when choosing to make or keep friends.
Another conversation I had was between some of my friends. They questioned is it controlling if someone is trying to dictate how you view your friendship or try to make you believe what they believe in when it comes to choosing and maintaining friendships. This conversation made me look further into the relationship between two people because often time you can be influenced in a positive or negative way depending on the type of mindset you have. That influence can be from your mate or your friends. Do you believe that friends can see things you can’t see when it comes to your mate or other people in your life? Most of my friends I had this conversation with felt it was weird that my guy didn’t want to get to know them because they questioned why wouldn’t he want to pick their brain about the person I am from their perspective. Which really made me think, dang why not?
At the end of the day, it is up to you to make the decision on your own happiness and life. You have to really know who you are and what you can deal with.
Let’s discuss: Do you think it’s important for your mate and your friends to get to know each other? Comment below.
Janea Alisha 