Since I was a little girl, I thought I knew exactly what it was I wanted out of life. I was going to be married with children, a boy and a girl, and be some type of doctor. I thought that was the ultimate dream to have. Being in elementary school how was I to know that life wouldn’t be that easy. Wanting the big house and salary to match wasn’t something that can happen without having to climb a couple of mountains and jump over a few hurdles.

Academics has always been important to me but once I hit college and started doing the worst I ever done academically, it took a toll on how I started to view myself as an individual. I started to second guess every decision I made concerning every aspect of my life. I second guessed my career choices, colleges, guys and it put an insecurity on my life where I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t see the potential in myself.

Have you ever thought about the choices you made and thought, maybe I can’t do this? Ever since I started college and entered into “adulthood” I always thought I wasn’t great. I couldn’t understand why everyone could see my potential except of me. When I look back at my life from back then to now, I see myself still in the same mindset. The only difference is I know my potential and don’t want to settle for less. Me not wanting to settle, causes me to want to skip the obstacles and go straight to the prize. Feeling that I been through enough already, why am I constantly getting the short end of stick?

Then it dawned on me, am I on the path God wants me to be on? Is this my purpose God planned for me to follow? I think about this everyday. I look at myself as an unique individual that see herself above mediocre jobs that don’t fulfill my passion in life. I have bills, I have things to do out of life so until that opening comes up, I have to work this mediocre job.

I am constantly thinking and my mind is always in overthinking mode. I wake up one day wanting to be a vet, I wake up one day wanting to deal with higher education, I wake up one day just in pure confusion… struggling with my purpose in life has been my biggest struggle EVER! But let me tell you this, if you’re constantly pressing forward you can never lose out on making your dreams come true. That has kept me pushing forward and not giving in to my thoughts of being worthless, unsuccessful and not good enough. My faith in God has helped me in discovering the real meaning of putting all trust in God and not man.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. -Hebrews 11:1

Looking at faith as a layer in things you want out of life gives us the ability to have a solid foundation in accomplishing what it is that God would want us to have out of life. That is where faith steps in to be the stepping stone into building up the courage, confidence and strength we need to follow through on our dreams and aspirations in life.

Have you ever dealt with this issue? How did you overcome it?

Janéa Alisha