My Whole Life Changed…

When I went off to college was around the time I started going to church. Growing up I went here and there but it wasn’t really consistent. While at college, I became friends with a lot of people who grew up in church and I really wanted to get a better understanding of who God was. Right before college I had to make some hard decisions concerning life and I decided school triumphed everything. The only thing in my mind was going to college. I didn’t care about anything or anyone. I made decisions based on how I felt regardless of outcomes or repercussions. I often time look back and think “Who was that person?”  
Going to church started becoming more consistent in my life but I still wasn’t sure on my relationship with God. I was getting to know who God was more and more each time I went. Then one Sunday morning away at college, I went to church and they kept calling alter calls and I really had no idea what the heck it was. My friend who I’ve been friends with since middle school asked me if I wanted to go and if I did she would go up there with me. I told her I did. She knew what I’ve been through and she knew it was overtaking my life. When I went to that alter, I felt like a weight was lifted off me. I was so grateful for that moment. In my mind, I was like if serving God is like this I’m in. I wanted to know more about Jesus so I dived head first into the Bible.

The more I learned about God, the more test and trials came about. I started questioning why God would a great God send these things my way. I thought he was all about being graceful and merciful but little did I know serving God came with a price tag. I started to date and found myself putting my all into that relationship instead of serving God.

In Matthew 6:24 it states “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

I was starting to make my relationship into my god. From there I started having many gods (school, work, friends) I was trying to do everything to please them instead of putting in all that energy with the one who deserves it all: Jesus. I lost my focus in school and my confidence was at an all time low. I didn’t feel good about who I was. I became the old me. I started making decisions based off of feelings and emotions. I switched schools and relationships on and off at my convenience. God was at his break end with me. I soon realized this and got back into church but we all know that isn’t easy at all. I’m now struggling with my flesh. I joined church at home because with all the decision making I made I was back at home.
Rededicating my life to Christ was my new goal. I knew I was up for a battle because I’m not struggling with fleshly desires and sin. In my mind I’m knowing I don’t want to be this person living life with no purpose. I wanted more for my life. I thought that school was the only way to live a life of purpose. School was everything to me and when I start failing at that I knew that wasn’t the way. I soon learned that God is the way to all things.

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life.” -John 14:6

I had to learn that school or people wouldn’t determine my outcome in life, God will. Whatever God has will be for me. Even though I was being fed the word at church, I still was falling short of his glory. I had to start letting things go…
Once I began letting go the toxic things in my life (friends, bad thoughts, guys, etc.), things start working itself out in my life. My grades in school started to improve and I finally started becoming a better me. I started becoming more involved in church. I became an usher because I wanted to get to know people. Most people know that I am an introvert so I thought maybe this would help with my social awkwardness. I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I was finally giving the happiness I was missing in life.

The day I got baptized was truly a blessing. At this time I was on fire for God. All I wanted to do was talk about the goodness of the Lord. I was so into serving God, my family start calling me Jesus’s BabyMomma. I didn’t care because everything was about God. I made sure I stayed consistent on going to bible study and Sunday service. As soon as I got baptized, the devil wanted to come in and start messing things up. We all know the devil tries to come an kill, steal and destroy you, right? When I finally let go of the past, the past decided to catch up with me. I was faced with making more life decisions which caused me to become so depressed. I cut all my hair off and all I did was go to school and church. It was my last semester in college so I was determined to finish no matter what. Regardless of me being depressed, I was still going to go serve the Lord. I knew it was going to be a fight but I was determine to have victory. The devil threw everything my way (depression, being broke with no job, having no motivation, etc.) but in the end I still had to put my trust in God.

Listen!!!

God doesn’t care what you look like, what you been through or about the decisions you had to make. All he wants is you to give it all to him.

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. -Psalms 55:22

God wants you to be your very best. Everything you been through has prepared you for future battles that you will reign VICTORIOUS over if you keep trusting and believing in God. Yes, we all fall short sometimes but if you are determined enough and if you trust in God, he will pull you through. Remember there are steps to serving God. When you first become saved you are a “Baby Christian” (my Bishop always says that lol), the goal is to continue growing your relationship with God. You will become wiser and the knowledge you gain can never be taken. God has equipped us with the best weapon of all: THE WORD OF GOD. The Bible will never leave you empty or hungry. Let the word of God fed you and fill you up with substance.

In the words of Lecrae,

“Let’s just say I saw the light

Let’s just say I heard the truth

Let’s just say I ain’t’ the same no more

I’m out here looking new

Let’s just say I left the game

Take my jersey, I retired

Let’s just say I’m at the game 

Put me in I’m on fire

Boy!

My whole life changed (that’s when)

My whole life changed (that day)

My whole life changed (right there)

My whole life changed

My whole life changed (that’s when)

My whole life changed (that day)

My whole life changed (right there)

My whole life changed”

Song: My Whole Life Changed – Lecrae